My first trip to Vegas came shortly after my buddies 21st birthday. We all decided to get together and take a trip out to Vegas since none of us had been there before and we all liked to party. None of us really knew much about it but figured it would be an experience. Little did we know….
We booked the trip about two months before through U.S. Airways Vacations. To keep things economical we chose to stay in the Imperial Palace due to its center strip location. We figured we would want to maximize our time there so we scheduled our departing flight from DFW to LAS at 6:30 AM (in hindsight this was an absolutely terrible idea). Then continuing to be smart we thought it was also a good idea to get drunk and stay up all night before we left. So we got to the airport around 5 AM on no sleep and still drunk. Keep in mind we haven’t even left home yet.
After the two hour time change, we touched down in Vegas sometime after 7 AM now more drunk due to in-flight drinks. We pre-paid for transportation so after gathering our bags we hopped on the van and made a bunch of stops before we finally got to IP (tip: just take a cab… or limo. It’s just as cheap and more efficient). At this point we were looking forward to getting into our room, showering, and unpacking but we obviously forgot about that little thing called “Check-In Time” which would not be until after 2 PM. So now we had about five hours to kill and none of us had ever been in a casino before. We were a little overwhelmed and didn’t quite know what to do. Finally, one of us got up enough courage to take a seat at the blackjack table. The rest of us seemed to be in awe by this because we just gathered around to watch him bet $5 a hand. Slowly the rest of us sat down and began playing… and drinking. This continued until some point in the afternoon until we were finally able to check-in. At this point I don’t even know how much money I’ve lost.
After check-in we met up with a lady-friend that one of my buddies knew from school. She was a Vegas local and a club promoter and told us she could get us in to the Pure nightclub at Caesar’s Palace and that we needed to get there before 11. We grabbed some food, played some more blackjack (i.e. lost some more money) and then went back to our room to get dressed for the night. Dressed to the nines and continuously more drunk we headed to Pure and after fighting the crowd for the guest list guy’s attention we made it in. This was all of our first experience in a Vegas night club and it blew us away – almost as much as the drink prices did.
Next came 4 or 5 Red bull-Vodkas ($75) and a few attempts to find some lady company. Our group separated because my buddy and I realized we weren’t going to be taking home any females by standing around in a circle with four guys. After about half an hour of scoping the place out and taking a few laps I saw one of my friends talking to two girls on the side of the dance floor so I naturally made my way over there and we had introductions. It turns out they were there for their friend’s bachelorette part and had their own VIP booth (Cha ching!). We talked and danced a little until my friend left to go get some drinks. After about 15 minutes of waiting for him, the girls asked me to follow them to their table.
Once we got there the bouncer wouldn’t let me in at first even though she asked him to so she told me to go wait by the bar. I went back over to the bar to hang out and I saw my friend up against it swallowing some other girl’s face (turns out he was chasing her all night and left us to go find her). Feeling a little awkward I decided to take another lap solo and see what else there was to see. About 10 minutes later I bumped into the bachelorette party girl again and she told me to go with her and this time I was able to get into their booth. So I spent the next hour or so drinking (finally free) vodka and talking to about 15 strangers (about 6 of them were guys and I’m pretty sure they all wanted to beat my ass). Then we took it to the dance floor and did the drunk white people dance until we needed some more drinks. I apparently wanted to look cool so I brought back a round for 6 people. We drank those as the club was getting ready to turn out and the bachelorette girl asked me where I was heading after that so naturally I responded with “where ever you are”. As we walked out one of her guy friends stopped me and does his best tough guy impression: “Hey. I’m sure you’re a good guy and all but if she doesn’t make it back tomorrow I’m going to find you and kill you.”. Oooooook buddy don’t worry she’ll be back.
We went back across the street to Imperial Palace to get some cash out and gamble a little. I walked to up to the ATM and swiped my debit card: *beeeeeep* “You have insufficient funds.” Fuck. I pull out another card: *beeeeep* “You have insufficient funds.” Fuck fuck. At this point I’m starting to blush as this woman (who I am starting to realize is a little older than I) watches this all unfold. Desperately I pull out every card in my wallet and she witnesses them all get declined. Resigned to defeat and determined to keep some dignity I decided I wouldn’t be mocked so I simply said “Well… I apparently have no money left so…” but she interrupted with “I have some money back in my room at Mandalay Bay, let’s go there.” Perfect!
She pays for the cab ride down to Mandalay Bay (which if you don’t know is on the end of the strip) and we go up to her room. She has me wait outside since she was sharing it with three other girls who were already asleep at that point. She brings out $200 and we hit the only blackjack table still live on the casino floor and of course it has to be a $25 minimum. She wants me to play so I sat down and quickly lose the $200 in about 8 straight hands. Now I just feel like a complete broke ass loser and I’m trying to figure out what to do next since I honestly had no money left and I wasn’t about to ask her for more.
We proceeded to stroll around the casino floor chatting about god-knows-what for the next hour or so until she finally addresses the situation and asked if I wanted to get a room. I restated the fact that I had no money left to her but that I could try my card and hope that the bank just lets it go through (since it would be a credit transaction which generally takes time to post). We walk up to the front desk around 3:30 AM and ask if they have any availability. At first he thinks I’m talking about for the upcoming day and tells me that check-in isn’t until 2 PM (I fucking know dude, I’m very aware of check-in times now). Then as he glances at her and back at me I tell him that we need it for tonight. He tells me they have an opening and I tell him to try my card before he books it to make sure it goes through. He swipes and it clears and finally we have a room. As an afterthought I asked him what the rate was: $440 for one night. Fuck fuck fuck.
Still pretty drunk and one thing on my mind I dismiss it and we head to our room (which was very nice by the way). We start making out and doing the white people drunk hook up thing until she points out that we have no condoms. Figures right? For some reason she has the notion that there has to be a condom somewhere in the room and begins looking all over until she comes across a tin box sitting on the dresser. This tin box was like the holy grail: Inside were two condoms and two packets of advil – the late-night Vegas special baby! I’m sure you can draw your own conclusions about what happened next (think of the American Psycho mirror scene). Afterwards, I was FINALLY able to sleep and conclude my first day and night in Vegas.
The next thing I knew I woke up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Still a little drunk, I didn’t feel as terrible as you might think. Then I looked at the clock: 11:37. Oh God please no. I reach across the attractive female still sleeping next to me and I grab the phone to call the front desk
Me: “Uhhh what time is checkout?”
Desk: “11 AM Sir”
Me: “Ohhh shit. Ummm ok can you please let me check out right now and not pay for another night?”
Desk: “Let me check sir….. *eternity goes by* Yes sir if you are checking out right now”
Me: “Thanks!” as my heart rate slows down
I hop up out of bed completely naked which wakes up my guest who begins to freak out as well because as it turns out she has a 1 PM flight to catch. The next moment the TV shuts off and theres a knock at the door. “uuuuuuuuuuhhhh hold on we’ll be out in about 5 minutes!”. We frantically get dressed and head down stairs. Remembering I am now even more broke I put the icing on the cake. “Hey, uhm, you think I can get some cab money?” Smiling at the whole situation she gives me $20 and her number and says goodbye. I get back and find my buddies all sitting at the blackjack table. They all give me the “what the fuck happened to you last night” look and I explain the whole thing. They asked me how old she was and I wasn’t sure so I pull out the number she gave me and text her “Hey I realize this doesn’t matter at this point but how old are you?” I don’t hear back for hours but later on that night I get a text that reads “34 and yes I caught my flight”. Huh *shrug*. I love you Vegas.
This post was submitted by Dustin.
Recent Comments